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The Beach

It's time honored, dare we say cliché. If you've actually had sex on the beach, you know the experience is less From Here to Eternity and more "How do I get this sand out of my butt crack?" But oh, the sound of the waves, the feel of the ocean lapping at your toes -- we certainly understand the allure.

For those of you determined to live out those sand-and-surf fantasies, we suggest a less-itchy compromise: the deserted lifeguard stand. Let's be honest: at least one of you has daydreamed since adolescence about doing it with the lifeguard. (And if you actually have done it with the lifeguard, kudos to you. Let us know how you pulled that one off.) The stands are often made for two lifeguards to sit side by side, thus providing ample room for maneuvering. Climbing up there is half the fun, but bring a flashlight if the sun has set and you have only moonlight to guide you. A large towel should keep the action relatively sand free. Just know that should things get too wild up there, there is a risk that one of you might accidentally roll off. However, there is often a huge mound of sand in front for emergency landings, so your chances of survival are fairly high.

Copyright © 2008 by Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James