Alice in Blunderland
- customer reviews
Fourth grade stinks. Fourth grade is when everything you do embarrasses you. Fourth grade is when everyone knows you’re a blunderbuss whether it’s part of your name or not.
Alice’s older brother Lester is always tricking her into believing his made-up stories are true. It’s not her fault she’s so gullible! Plus, he’s a really good liar. But that doesn’t help when she finds herself in a mess because of something he’s invented.
She can’t seem to do anything else right, either. She sneezes beans at the lunch table, gets trapped in her own snow cave, and is forced to sing—even though she can’t carry a tune—in front of her whole grade. And that’s nothing compared to the trouble she’s about to get herself into next. Alice is just about ready to chalk fourth grade up as the worst year ever!
Read an Excerpt
Lester lies to me sometimes, only he says it's just teasing. Then I go and believe him.
We were talking about names once, and he said he'd let me in on a secret if I didn't tell Dad. He said that we weren't Scotch-Irish at all, that our grandparents had escaped from Russia, but we didn't want anyone to know it.
My real name, he said, wasn't Alice Kathleen McKinley; it was Alicia Katerina de Balencia Blunderbuss Makinoli.
"Honest?" I said.
"Cross my heart," said Lester.
"Write it down," I told him. So Lester wrote it down for me.
I whispered my real name over and over so I... see more