Books : Black Love Signs : Excerpts

From Chapter 1: ARIES

(March 21 to April 19)
Symbol: The Ram

Positive love traits: Passionate, sensual, spontaneous, insatiable lover, and one of the stars of the freak show.

Negative love traits: Selfish, sadistic, impatient lover; kinky, master-slave inclinations.

Ruling planet: Mars is associated with initiative and courage.

Word to the wise: The faint of heart need not apply. Ranting and raving are a way of life for the ram.

When you first meet Aries people, you won't have any trouble recognizing them. They're usually the ones in the room talking and laughing the loudest, telling a story, including every gory detail. If you've got all day to listen, that's fine. If you don't, no matter. All they need is an audience of one to continue. You'll find Aries people where the action is, provided they're not at home resting up for the next adventure. They love sports, horseback riding, theater, poetry readings, listening to or performing music, and any other outlet where there are hordes of people.

Their ruling planet is Mars, which means they're cheerful, enthusiastic, and gung ho about everything in which they're involved, including a budding or impending relationship with you, provided that they're interested. If you catch their eye and they're interested, both men and women go in for the "kill" early and don't waste precious time. While you're stalling and thinking about it, they're already planning their next move.

If the Aries isn't interested, then I would suggest not trying to force the issue. Aries people have definitely been known to be pretty blunt. And believe me, they will tell you in no uncertain terms that initiating a date or a conversation is an exercise in futility. The conversation will go like this: "Baby, I wish we could have a relationship, but you're kind of too slow for me. You don't want to do anything, but you call me all the time. I just can't have that. You need to find something else to do."

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and these rams expect to be first in everything they do. And that also includes having your undivided attention. The symbol is the ram, an animal that is very aggressive and able to climb to great heights. Now if you plan to soar with the eagles, uh, excuse me, rams, you better read further.

The ruling planet of Aries is Mars, which is associated with initiative and courage. One thing you can count on with an Aries, they are never thin-skinned when it comes to taking chances and trying new ideas. For example, an Aries saleswoman discovered that a friend owned several commercial lawn mowers for maintaining lawns of companies and apartment complexes. The Aries sister convinced her friend to start a lawn service business. She put the marketing plan together and wrote the sales pitches and ended up getting clients for the company. But unbeknown to the Aries, her friend had a drug problem, and instead of providing the lawn service for customers, he stayed home most days with his crack pipe. Undaunted, the Aries sister contacted several other companies. And now she's marketing director for a number of lawn service concerns.

The element for Aries is fire, and like the element, Arians are bold, hot-tempered, and hard to control. With these rams, there will also be a lot of ranting and raving going on. They simply can't help it. In an effort to make their point, their voices automatically go up at least two levels. When the noise starts, just ignore it, and don't take it personally.

For the most part, these fire signs are loners. Getting to know an Aries may be difficult sometimes. They feel very comfortable with themselves. They can also be totally self-absorbed and preoccupied with whatever they're about. If you point out that the ram is selfish, he readily agrees. But that doesn't mean he's going to do better. They mean well, but they can't help it. An Aries key word is "self," meaning whatever the situation is, the Aries should be the first considered. For example, an Aries man who was acting like Scrooge before Christmas would not accompany his Cancer wife to the woods, chop down an evergreen, and play the total Christmas scene with her and his stepson. When his wife came on with the flood of tears, Mr. Ram was unimpressed. His only retort was "I am not going because I don't feel like it. I don't care if you're crying. Now cry, cry, cry!"

With both the men and women of this sign, it's going to be their way or the highway. These fire signs are very demanding, domineering, and opinionated about most things. A Scorpio wife said her Aries husband was a blockhead about most things, unless it was something he wanted to do.

Physically, Aries people are quite striking. They're usually medium tall to tall. They have larger than average heads, with lots of hair. If you look a bit closer, there's probably a scar or mark from some accidental injury. Both the men and women have broad shoulders. They have an unmistakable charm and a winning smile.

Arians are the cheerleaders of the zodiac. They're usually charged up about most projects that they start and never finish. They can be wonderful, too -- but they have to want to be. So don't frustrate yourself with questions like "How could he say that to me?" or "She was supposed to bring the paper goods for the party and she didn't show up!" Charge it to their heads and certainly not their hearts.

The Aries Man

When you first meet this brother, the first thing you'll notice is his confidence. He definitely does have a sense of style. But many Aries men wear outdated clothing. This brother may even show up in a leisure suit or bell-bottom pants. They simply don't take the time to shop for clothes. They can usually think of a million and one things to do other than the mundane and boring task of shopping. It's only when they're standing in front of the closet, trying to determine what to wear to a club or some other function, that they realize that they haven't been shopping for months -- even years. His mate is on the sidelines, doggin' the brother out and saying, "I can't help you find anything. Every time I want you to go shopping with me, you don't have time, and you know you don't want to spend any money on clothes."

Besides, Arians feel that clothes don't make the man because they feel like their unmistakable charm, sense of adventure, and bedroom maneuvers are basically all that they need.

These brothers, whose sense of adventure is ever-present, are attracted to women who are independent thinkers and those sisters who want a sense of adventure in their lives no matter what their age. For example, your ram may decide impulsively that he wants to photograph you in the nude, with the trees, grass, and setting sun as the backdrop. While you're protesting all along the way, he will reassure you by agreeing to undress as well, as he's taking pictures of you in all of your "every which way but loose" poses. Much to your chagrin, the photos will be pleasing to the eye and create for you an off-the-cuff sexual sense of yourself. Chill out, you may enjoy the experience.

If you are a clingy type and want to know the Aries brother's every move, well, I suggest you move on to another section of the book. If you're a homebody, you're going to be home alone. You won't ever know his every move because half the time he doesn't either. Aries brothers will want, and encourage, you to do your own thing.

A Libra literary agent who had a platonic relationship with an Aries man, or so she thought, overheard him mention to someone else that his girlfriend nagged all the time. "I realized after a while that he was talking about me. It was the first I had heard that I was his girlfriend." Well, now.

The Aries brother invented the power of persuasion. While you're trying to collect yourself and figure out whether you're going to agree to the initial date, the brother may be at your door demanding to talk with you. You had better be careful. One of his favorite lines is "I'm on my way over there!" Besides, he knows that if he can simply have an audience with you, it will be all over but the shouting.

Since he's at your door demanding entry, you've probably passed the test. Aries men are attracted to women who are independent thinkers and those sisters who want a sense of adventure in their lives. He simply doesn't plan to see or be with you every day of your life. Even if you're married to an Aries, he will have a room that he considers his domain, complete with porno movies, old sports tapes, his favorite music, and old pieces of furniture from his college days or stint in the military.

As husbands or lovers, they will never give you a dull moment. He will sweep you off your feet with cards every day, phone calls, and information about what's in store for the week. Your only requirement is to be ready, willing, and able for this nonstop roller-coaster ride. For example, you may get a call on your job from your eager Aries announcing that the two of you will go out of town with his college roommate. The Aries agreed to drive his roommate's car back home because his friend was leaving for overseas in two days. Of course, the drive is fifteen hours one way. And never mind that he wants to stop along the way to have sex, whether indoors or out. And you'll be expected to help drive, cajole his roommate, and have sex with the ram, too. Don't forget, you must be enthusiastic. And so it goes.

The Aries brother demands the direct approach. "Are we in a relationship?" he will want to know. "If we are, well, when are we going to bed?" During the initial phase of the relationship, if you don't plan to deliver, don't accept an invitation to his apartment. He will interpret any flirting or teasing as an open invitation. He'll put on a few erotic videos and charm the pants, or dress, right off you. The Aries man will overwhelm you with his philosophy on relationships, his approach to courtship, and his over-the-top antics in the bedroom. And if you're still around after that scene, well, you may be able to hang in for the long haul.

His enthusiasm for any new relationship is similar to a boy with a brand-new toy. He'll approach the courtship as though you're his first and only love. But if it doesn't work, he'll be off again writing more poems for his new lady love with the same passion and commitment he once had for you. When the relationship is over, he's the first to say good-bye. He'll probably be the first to know it's over, too.

On the other hand, if he's in the doghouse and hasn't been as attentive, he knows exactly how to get your attention. You may get a card and stuffed animal with a note of apology in your mailbox. Or he may show up at your house with a full meal that he prepared himself, along with wine and a single rose. After the meal, of course, he'll clean the kitchen. He'll then declare that he's your sex slave, offering himself as dessert.

Oh, by the way, his memory about details is not very sharp because he's usually involved in too many projects to keep up with all the promises he's made. The best approach in dealing with an Aries and his empty promises is not to rely too heavily on his involvement during any special occasion. For example, don't put Mr. Ram in charge of disc-jockeying for the family reunion or the surprise party for your cousin. He may show up when it finally hits him, two hours later, after you've made several frantic phone calls, paged him (he probably left his pager on the dresser), or filed a missing persons report with the police.

Whenever he arrives, he's going to be the life of the party. But save yourself some frustration. Also, ladies, save your breath, this Aries is only going to do exactly what he wants to do. Don't take it personally. The fact that he didn't show up at all or showed up at the eleventh hour has very little to do with you. The same scenario could be played out at a family wedding, church banquet, or his best friend's bachelor party.

Oh yes, Aries brothers are extremely jealous. They figure you have no reason in the world to be flirting shamelessly with another man when you have him. Your Aries will boldly walk right over to you while you're talking to Mr. All That and demand an explanation. Although he was showing all thirty-two teeth when Miss Miniskirt Mama approached him, he'll still want an explanation from you, and with a quickness!