Books : The Book of the Sword : Excerpts

My name is Heaven Kogo, and I died on my wedding day.

I know that sounds strange. But it's true.

I don't mean I died, died, with a funeral and a coffin and grieving relatives. I'm still alive and well -- more or less. But something happened on my wedding day that changed everything that came afterward. I started to feel like my life had two distinct periods -- Before Wedding and After Wedding. Sometimes I wish I was still trapped in Before.

On the morning of October 31 the old Heaven Kogo stood in the foyer of the Beverly Wilshire hotel, dressed in wedding-day finery, a white kimono that had been in the Kogo family for generations. I'd been pretty sure my life was over ever since my father had announced I would be marrying the odious Teddy Yukemura as part of some "business decision" six months ago. The kimono was white, to symbolize both death and rebirth. Heaven Kogo was dying and being reborn as Mrs. Teddy Yukemura.

I was ready to slit my throat.

Being dead would be better than being reborn and married to Teddy. True, getting married and moving out of my father's house meant a kind of freedom I had only dreamed about -- I could read what I wanted, watch what I wanted, go to dance clubs and parties and other countries. Up until my wedding day I'd lived almost my entire life on my father's compound outside Tokyo, with Konishi dictating where I could go and who I could see (usually, nowhere and no one). But I wouldn't really be free -- I'd be married to Teddy, one of the grossest and most arrogant guys I'd ever met.

I'd only met Teddy a few months before, though I'd heard rumors about him since I was tiny. Like mine, Teddy's father was an ultrapowerful businessman. Like me, Teddy had grown up seeing his name splashed over the gossip pages. Unlike me, I suspect Teddy sort of enjoyed it. Teddy was spoiled, greasy, thuggish. You only had to spend a few minutes with him to figure out that he was the kind of guy who used his father's money and standing to get him anything he wanted -- legal or not. He was a wanna-be gangster who dyed his hair a horrible lion yellow and had a cell phone permanently glued to his ear. Our few "get-to-know-you" dinners had left me with a horrible impression of him. He was a selfish, pleasure-loving party boy, and he never showed the slightest bit of interest in me. And before I realized that I couldn't stop the wedding, that had been a relief. Yet in just a few hours I would be alone with Teddy in the bridal suite.

Standing next to my father, waiting for the heavy ballroom doors to open so that I could walk down the aisle, I experienced one last spike of hope. I slid my hand into my obi, where I had tucked the hundred-dollar bill that I'd found in a bouquet of fat red roses in my dressing room. Yes, it was still there. The little piece of paper that might mean I didn't have to marry Teddy. I snuck a fast peek at it, careful not to let Konishi see. The words were still there, too, written right on Benjamin Franklin's face, in my brother, Ohiko's, handwriting -- Wait for me.

I wasn't totally sure what Ohiko's message meant. Six months ago he had been banished from our compound, and I hadn't seen or heard from him even once in all that time. My brother was my favorite person in the world -- warm, understanding, and strong. Like my father, he was trained in the samurai arts. Maybe that's how Ohiko planned to save me. If my life was a movie, Ohiko would burst into the ballroom half a second before I became Mrs. Yukemura, hold Teddy off with his amazing swordplay skills, and whisk me to safety. Maybe that would happen. I was in Los Angeles, after all. Tinseltown. Wasn't I entitled to a small share of movie magic?

And this is the Beverly Wilshire, I reminded myself. This is where a powerful businessman fell in love with a hooker. Anything's possible here. For a second I wondered if I could find a Julia Roberts-style prostitute for Teddy to marry instead. He'd definitely have more fun on the wedding night. An entirely inappropriate snort of laughter escaped my nose.

"Heaven!" Konishi hissed suddenly. "Behave like the adult you will soon be!" I looked up at him, and he seemed to melt a few degrees.

"You must remember, my daughter, that you are a bushi, a samurai woman, and a samurai woman must, like a man, put her duty above all else. Your duty, right now, is to behave in a fashion that reflects well on the Kogo family," my father lectured. "Remember who is waiting behind those doors and consider that you must, above all, behave in a manner befitting your stature. I am very proud of the way you have conducted yourself in these last months. You have shown the true colors of your upbringing and done your duty with grace and graciousness."

Translation: I had done absolutely everything my father told me to do. I had been a good little girl. But I wasn't a little girl anymore. Little girls don't get married.

"Teddy is a generous man. I promise you will want for nothing," Konishi added.

Sure, nothing except love. Nothing except freedom. Maybe Konishi didn't think I deserved those things.

I sighed, feeling a mixture of tenderness and fear as I looked up at his face. This was my father -- my daddy, my hero, my protector. When I was growing up, he made me feel like the most special person in the world. He was way overprotective but kind -- I really believed that he thought he was shielding me from all the dark things in the world. In his way he was protecting me even now, making sure I married a man with enough money to give me anything I needed. But didn't he think I deserved to be loved? Didn't he think I deserved someone better than Teddy?

For a crazy moment I thought about saying no. I'd whip off my wooden sandals and run out the front door. Then I'd start a new life, a free life in America, away from Konishi and his crushing love and his horrible tests of loyalty.

But in an instant I knew I just couldn't. For one thing, I loved my father too much to humiliate him that way. And the truth was...my father frightened me.

Konishi could be ruthless. After all, he had disowned Ohiko, his only son and the person I loved most. I wasn't sure what had caused their falling-out, but my father ranted and raved about "family loyalty." It was strange. Before that point I had never seen my father speak so harshly against a member of his own family. He could be cold sometimes and very strict, but I always thought that he was on our side -- that it was me, Konishi, and Ohiko against the world.

Right before that he had fired Katie, my English tutor, my source of American movies and my best girlfriend, for speaking out against my marriage. When he first told me that I would marry Teddy and I protested, Konishi's face went cold. The father who loved me and called me his "good-luck girl" was totally gone. He told me if I didn't go through with the wedding, he would disown me, too.

I guess to Konishi, some things are more important than love.

I couldn't turn to my adoptive mother, Mieko. She would only see me as she always had: as some kind of insect, something mildly unpleasant that had to be dealt with. She would tell me to obey my father, just as she obeyed him. Always. I think Mieko would obey if my father asked her to cut off her head and serve it to him for dinner.

But then, I was about to marry a greasy gangsta for him. So I guess there's not that much difference between me and Mieko.

"Are you listening to me, Heaven?" my father asked, his voice slicing through my thoughts like a knife.

"Y-Yes, Father," I stammered. My voice came out high and shaky, and it felt like I was still five years old, still learning to call him by that name, though I knew even then that I'd been adopted, that he wasn't my real father. But no matter -- I always tried to behave like the stupid, submissive girl he wanted me to be. Suddenly I almost hated him. I straightened my back. "But you shouldn't call me a bushi," I continued strongly. "Ohiko was the samurai in the family. In fact, there's probably less samurai blood in me than in the lowliest kitchen servant in our house."

It was the worst thing I could say to him. And at that moment I loved saying it.

His grasp on my arm tightened and I kept my eyes lowered, as I had the whole time I was talking. "You must never think that about yourself, Heaven! Never! You are a samurai woman. I have seen it in you."

I looked up in surprise. What did that mean? He had cleared his throat and leaned over, as if to whisper something to me, when suddenly the doors opened. In a single moment all my anger at my father disappeared and I wanted to hide under the carpet. This is it, I thought. I'm actually getting married. Where are you, Ohiko? Konishi glanced at me quickly and took one step into the ballroom. I watched him -- so distinguished, so regal, already looking away from me and smiling grandly for all the assembled guests. I hesitated for a second, then stepped with him into the ballroom.

For a moment I was dazzled by the spectacle of the ballroom itself. No expense had been spared. Instead of hanging a bouquet on the end of every row of seats, rosebushes in lacquered black pots climbed up trellises at intervals, creating a sort of canopy of flowers that my father and I now strolled under as the guests turned to smile and nod.

I pasted a smile on my face and scanned the crowd. It was difficult to distinguish individual faces in the vast sea of people, but as we neared the front, I recognized my aunt Aki, my father's sister, who I hadn't seen in several years. She smiled at me and gave me a secret wave. I wiggled my finger slightly in return. A few rows in front of her sat Mieko, who gazed at me with cool detachment. She'd never shown any excitement at the news of my marriage or any kind of emotion, really. I figured she was probably happy to be rid of me.

Next to Mieko sat a man I realized with surprise must be her brother, Masato. I had only ever seen him in photos since he had left to run my father's business interests in Central America when I was still very young. He had the same sad eyes and high cheekbones as Mieko, but while Mieko looked defeated, Masato just looked tired. His eyes scrunched up as he looked at me, and he gave me a little smile as we passed. Where had my aunt and uncle been when I needed them? What was it about Konishi, or Mieko, that kept them away?

I swept my eyes over the crowd one last time, longing to see Ohiko staring back at me. In a movie he would have been. I should have known better than to let myself hope. Not a single guest was there for me. Only for Konishi.

I looked up as we walked beneath an immense skylight. I saw no stars -- they were probably drowned out by the lights of Beverly Hills. I suddenly realized that when people stare up at the stars in movies about L.A., they're faking. All I saw was a huge swatch of black. Nothingness. I shivered, then quickly moved my gaze to the altar.

There was Teddy. The man who was about to become my husband. My father let go of my arm and faded away from me. Teddy's hair was back to its natural black -- probably on orders from his father -- and slicked back with enough gel to kill a small animal. He, too, was dressed in traditional Japanese wedding clothes, and he looked uncharacteristically restrained. But his eyes were smug, as always. I decided not to look at him for the rest of the ceremony and turned my attention instead to the wizened old Shinto priest who was beginning to light another stick of incense so that he could give the blessing that would start the proceedings.

This is not happening to me, I thought fervently.

But my twisting stomach knew that it was. I was only minutes away from belonging to Teddy -- belonging to him in the same way Mieko belonged to my father. And tonight I'd be lying in bed -- okay, more than that, I'm not an idiot -- with Teddy. I'd never even kissed a boy before, although I'd practiced in my mind with movie stars. I'd kissed flowers and door frames and my own hand trying to perfect my technique, and I knew I probably still didn't have it right. But tonight...I stifled a gag. I couldn't even think about kissing Teddy, and I certainly couldn't imagine being naked with him. I'd barely eaten anything since morning, but the thought of seeing Teddy that way made me horribly nauseous.

As the priest began chanting the blessing, I stared past him at what I realized, with a jolt, was the Home Goroshi -- the Whisper of Death, the ceremonial katana, a long sword that had been in the Kogo family for generations. My father's ancestors had used that very sword to kill the enemies of their masters back during the Warring States period, when a samurai's responsibility was to protect and serve his master with total loyalty, whatever the price.

How appropriate.

The priest cleared his throat. He was holding out a cup of sake to my lips, and I flinched, stunned at how close we were to the end of the wedding. I forced myself to take a sip. The muscles of my throat clenched as the sake slid down it, and I was only able to concentrate on holding back tears. This was the last ritual of the ceremony. Teddy and I would each drink from the sake cup three times, there would be a final blessing, and then it would be over. I would be Mrs. Teddy Yukemura. Teddy grinned and took a swig. I waited as long as I could and then drank again.

Do something, do something! The words tore through my brain, but I couldn't move. I glanced quickly at the assembled guests and caught Konishi's eye. He was watching the ceremony with complete concentration. When I looked at him, he nodded slightly. But there was no warmth in his gaze. It felt like he was watching me in the dance classes I took as a child, carefully observing my technique so that he could critique me when I arrived home. But this time I wouldn't be coming home. And all of a sudden I realized that this moment was the reason for those dance classes. I mattered no more to my father than Blue Bandana, the million-dollar horse he'd once bought and then sold to an Arabian sheik. My heart shriveled.

The priest handed the cup back to Teddy; then it was my turn. I hesitated -- once I drank from that cup, it would all be over. I slowly raised the delicate cup to my lips. I was about to become Heaven Yukemura, and there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes.

Crash! My hand gave an involuntary jerk at the sound, and the cup flew from my fingers and smashed on the floor. I spun toward the rows of guests, and my heart spasmed in my chest. This can't be real. Standing just ten feet away, under the gaping wreckage of the skylight, was a black-clad figure. He held a katana in his hands, and to me, it resembled the Whisper of Death. The figure's face was masked so that only his eyes were visible, and he -- it was definitely a he -- stood in a fighting stance as his eyes darted around the room.

This can't be real, I thought immediately. This has to be a dream. Ninjas do not crash through skylights to attack weddings. But then I realized that my life had never felt quite real -- so why should my wedding day be any different?

It was eerily quiet for what seemed like forever but was probably only a few seconds, and then a woman's scream pierced the air like a knife.

"Ninja!"

Oh God, it was terribly real.

In one quick movement Teddy threw his beefy arms around me and pulled me back up against him in a suffocating hold. I could feel the sweat soaking his skin -- smell it, too -- and hear his breath coming in fast, shallow wheezes. Hesitantly he began to back toward the ballroom doors, pulling me with him. He kept me pointed toward the ninja. All at once I realized what he was doing, and it was enough to pull me out of my daze. Teddy -- my would-be husband -- was using me as a human shield!

"You bastard!" I hissed at him, suddenly finding my voice. I'd never said the word aloud before, but it felt good. "Let me go, you coward!"

I stumbled as Teddy released me. I jerked my head toward him and saw him join the mad scramble of guests as they fought their way toward the doors. The priest had already vanished. I was alone at the altar. Slowly I turned to face the ninja again -- he hadn't moved. My bones turned to ice when I met his gaze.

There was no doubt about it -- he was staring right at me.

Why? my mind screamed as I studied his dark eyes. Why, why would anyone want to kill me?

I knew I should start running, but the sticks of ice that were my legs wouldn't cooperate. The stampede of guests faded into the background, and the ninja slithered toward me. All I could do was stand there like a trapped animal and think, I don't want to die. Please don't let me die.

Then suddenly another cry broke through the eerie silence -- a cry of anger, not fear. I ripped my eyes off the ninja.

"Ohiko!" I shrieked. My brother, dressed all in black, ran toward me, shoving through the crowd. I hadn't even seen him enter. It was the movie-style rescue I'd imagined! Ohiko raised his katana, and the ninja leapt to meet him. The clang of metal hitting metal was like a punch in my stomach. I had watched my brother practice samurai techniques before, but I'd never witnessed a real fight. Ohiko and the ninja moved so fast that their swords became a blur. I couldn't tell who was winning. The horrible clang sounded again and again. The ninja made a pass, and a slash of red appeared on Ohiko's arm. Blood. My brother's blood.

That's when it hit me. Ohiko was a skilled swordsman, but the ninja was a highly trained killing machine. I didn't know how much longer Ohiko would be able to hold off the ninja alone.

"Help him! Somebody help him!" I turned and snatched the Whisper of Death from behind the altar. I ran out into the panicked crowd and grabbed a fat, bearded man I didn't know by the tail of his tuxedo.

"Take the sword!" I cried, thrusting the Whisper of Death into his hands. "He can't fight a ninja alone!" The man yanked his hands away as if he'd been burned and continued to push his way toward the door. Everyone was running away. Where were the bodyguards who never let my father out of their sight? I knew they had guns. And what had happened to my father?

"Don't you understand?" I shrieked. "Ohiko will die if someone doesn't help him!" The men ignored me and the women were useless, screaming and crying and clinging to the floor, where they'd fallen when they slipped in their highheeled shoes. I kicked off my wooden sandals and shoved people out of my way. When I held up the Whisper of Death, the crowd parted for a moment.

That's when I saw my father. He was just standing there, not fifteen feet from where Ohiko and the ninja were fighting. "Konishi! Do something!" I cried. "Shoot him!" I knew my father carried a gun at all times. It was one of those things we never talked about in our house, but I knew, just like I knew another thing that we were never allowed to mention -- that my real parents would always be a mystery to me.

Other guests turned briefly at the sound of my voice. But Konishi, our father, didn't even acknowledge me. "You can't let Ohiko die!" I shouted.

Finally he turned to me, and a chill crept down my spine when his eyes met mine. There was no recognition, no warmth. The man who had raised me from a baby looked through me like I was one of the potted rose plants that now lay scattered across the room. And then, in an act that I would relive in nightmares for months to come, my father turned away.

I screamed, louder than I would have ever thought possible, no words, just a howl. I had no words left. As loud as I was screaming, nobody seemed to hear me. Everyone continued pushing toward the door. Including Konishi.

"Everyone calm down," a man shouted. Finally two bodyguards appeared, fighting their way against the crowd. I ran up to them, relief washing over me. One fired a warning shot at the ceiling. "The taller one is my brother!" I yelled. I pointed to Ohiko. "You have to shoot the other one." With two men dressed all in black, it would be easy for the bodyguards to make a mistake.

The bodyguard looked at me blankly, and in that moment Ohiko used his sword to drive the ninja back five or six steps. For a moment the ninja seemed to lose his balance. Ohiko raised his sword for a killing blow, and then the sword was no longer there. It clattered to the floor.

I watched the ninja's sword go through my brother. I swear I felt the cool metal in my own body. Time stopped as Ohiko leaned on the ninja. It looked almost like they were hugging. Then the ninja pushed him away and Ohiko fell. Shots rang out again, and the ninja leapt away through the side doors, the stragglers falling back to let him pass.

"Call an ambulance!" someone shouted.

"Ohiko!" I ran to him, sank to my knees, and pulled him into my arms. I pressed the sleeve of my kimono down on his wound to stop the bleeding. Ohiko's hot blood soaked it in a minute. I kept my hand over the gash, pressing down hard, my brother's blood staining my hand red. Ohiko looked up at me through dazed eyes. "I'm sorry...Heaven. My little sister."

"No, no, no," I sobbed, pulling my brother closer. Tears, hot as the blood, stung my eyes and dripped down onto Ohiko's cheeks. "You're going to be okay, Ohiko, you're going to be okay."

Ohiko drew a rattling breath and spoke again. I could hear the effort behind every word. "I had so much to tell you, Stinky Feet. Now you will have to be strong on your own." Ohiko's eyes began to close, and I struggled to keep him in my lap.

"I love you, Ohiko. Please don't die. Please wait for the ambulance." His eyes glazed over, and a rattling sound came from his chest. He struggled to speak.

"What is it? Tell me, tell me." I stroked his cheek, trying to memorize his face.

"Find Hiro," he whispered. His eyes closed, then snapped open again. "I knew I had to protect you from him."

Hiro? I shook my head, trying to focus on Ohiko's words. "From who? Ohiko, from who? Don't go, Ohiko, please!" I could barely talk through the sobs shuddering through my body. Ohiko's eyes fluttered once more.

"You can't trust our family." His eyes closed. The blood stopped pumping beneath my hand.

"No!" I screamed. We were alone in the ballroom now, and my scream echoed off the polished walls. "Ohiko, wake up! Ohiko!"

But it was no use. He was gone.

I sat there for a moment, cradling my dead brother's body in my arms. I was alone now -- alone in a way I'd never been before.

It was supposed to be me. The ninja was after me. The words echoed in my head like a mantra.

I have to get out of here.

"Good-bye, Ohiko," I whispered, touching his cheek. Gently I eased him off my lap, laying his head down on the polished marble floor. My heart was breaking. I'd always thought that was just an expression, but I could actually feel it cracking into splinters and crumbling away, leaving a hole in my chest, an empty, aching hole.

My father might as well have pushed the sword into my brother's chest himself. He'd let Ohiko die. I couldn't trust him. You can't trust your family -- that's what Ohiko had said. And I definitely couldn't trust that coward Teddy.

I pulled the Whisper of Death toward me, the blade squealing against the marble. I wanted to live. Ohiko was dead, and there was nothing I could do. I had to get away now while I had my chance. "Be strong," I whispered, repeating the words my brother had spoken to me. I wiped the tears from my eyes so I could see my brother's face one last time. I kissed his forehead. It was already cold.

"I won't forget you, Ohiko," I promised.

One of my father's bodyguards opened the door at the far end of the ballroom. "She's in here, Haru!"

If I couldn't trust my father, I definitely couldn't trust his men. I sprang to my feet and dashed past the altar, dragging the sword behind me. Hidden behind a shoji screen was a utility door. When I pushed it open, a fire alarm began to sound.

The old Heaven Kogo had trusted her father completely. She had never wanted for anything -- and never made a decision on her own. I'd loved being that person, but she was of no use to me now. The old Heaven Kogo died as I rushed through the door and raced into the night.

I would become a new person. And I couldn't help but think that perhaps now I would be the girl I was always meant to be, before I fell from the sky.

Nobody knows how I have suffered or how the secrets that I keep have eaten away at me, day after day, year after year. The wife of Konishi Kogo does what she is told, it's true, but she also watches. She listens.

She knows.

It's cool in here, the bridal suite. Soothing. Downstairs chaos reigns, but Konishi will see to it. He always does. Just as six months ago he saw to it that Ohiko, my real child, my treasure, my only joy, was banished from our home -- from our lives. And now he is dead. Yet Heaven lives.

Heaven always led a charmed life, free to enjoy the riches that surrounded her, without knowing their source. She had no idea how fortunate she was to have landed in such a gilded prison. When I first saw her, the little miracle baby, my heart was undoubtedly the only one in Japan that remained cold. I had a premonition that she would bring death into our house. Death does not like to be cheated. But Konishi insisted. He would have her, at any price.

Has the debt been paid to Death? Was Heaven worth our son's life?

The guests are gone now, and the bridal suite has become a morgue. My husband commands his little army downstairs. And I sit by the body of my son, because there is nothing else I can do.

Because of her, Ohiko is gone. He was the only thing I loved in this world. And now, the little space in my heart that remained open for him will close. I feel it tightening already.

I have watched and listened. Now it is time to act. Where are you, Heaven? Do you know that your luck is about to change?

Mieko