Books > Fired! >

Excerpts

Contents

Introduction

Who Came Up with the Phrase "You're fired"?

Chapter 1: The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired

That's a Fact by Andy Borowitz

The Big Red Shoe Diaries by Paul Feig

Bimmy in Training by Larry Charles

The Snuggery by Eric Gilliland

Bruce Cameron Remodels Your Redundancy

Don't Call Me, I'll Call You by Judy Gold

Poor Judgment by Illeana Douglas

Number One Pooper-Scooper by Robert Reich

Nesting by Jessica van der Valk

When Children Fire You by Ian Gomez

Chapter 2: The Firing You Didn't See Coming

The Little Fuck That Could by Sandra Tsing Loh

Extra! Extra! by Brian Unger

Schadenfreude by Anne Meara

Sent to Cyberia by Lori Gottlieb

Harry Shearer Minds His Credibility Gap

Fired by the Queen and Dumped by Trump by Joyce Beber

Felicity Huffman on Popping Your Cherry

Dead Man Working by Jason Kravits

The Do-Bee by Martha McCully

David Cross Might Just Be Too Big

Mauve by Jack Merrill

Fried by Hillary Carlip

One of Them Stories by Tate Donovan

Steak Today by Wildman Weiner

Substandard Performance by Anonymous

Dahling, It's Eva Gabor by Glenn Rosenblum

Chapter 3: The Time You Deserved to Be Fired

Video, Video by Paul F. Tompkins

Short Ends by Jonathan Groff

Crimes and Mythdemeanors by Annabelle Gurwitch

That Garlin Boy: An Interview with Jeff Garlin

Right On! by Jill Soloway

Friendless by Fisher Stevens

Bill Maher: Warm Body Telling Jokes

The Postman Never Rings Twice by Richard Colburn

Ba-looney Tunes by Matt Walsh

Grrl Genius Gets Canned by Cathryn Michon

All Those Parts by Shirley Gurwitch

Chapter 4: The Time Getting Fired Leads You to Something Better

Patricia Heaton Hopes You Enjoy Your Stay

Jimmy the Idiot by Dana Gould

The World's Worst Waiter by Jeff Kahn

I'll Knock Your Block Off by Andy Dick

Bob Saget Doesn't Sit Here Anymore

Can You Get Fired If You Aren't Being Paid? by Morgan Spurlock

I Was the Master by Tim Allen

Madison Scare Garden by Elizabeth Warner

D. L. Hughley: Lot and Lobby to Late Night

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service by Maxine Lapiduss

But We'd Love to Work with You Again by Judd Apatow

Shock and Remorse by Lilly Anderson

Chapter 5 The Time You Had to Fire Yourself

A Thoroughly Modern Firing by Tonya Pinkins

Remembrance of Porn Past by Scott Carter

Last Shift at the Fetish Deli by Mark Haskell Smith

Attractive in a Bad Way by Rob Cohen

Cappi's Pizza and Sangweech Shop by Carl Capotorto

No More Rain Days by Janet M. Lorenz

Recipe for the Recently Redundant by Walter Scheib

The Fired Song by Roy Zimmerman

The Letter You Wish You'd Sent to Your Boss! Now You Can!

Notes

Acknowledgments