How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want
It’s easy to feel like your love life is nonexistent. You know you’re great, so why haven’t you been on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date since . . . well, forever? Because as it turns out, you are now living in a post-dating world, where the old rules for sex and relationships no longer apply. Suddenly, everything and nothing is a date. But this means that you have much more going on in your love life than you realize.
Think about all the ambiguous interactions you have with guys: from a brainstorming session with a coworker, to a drink with an old friend, to a late night Skype session with an ex who’s still in your life. Once you open your eyes, you’ll see that you’re already exploring all sorts of connections with the men in your life via these non-dates. And who are all these guys you’re non-dating?
Say hello to your gaggle.
The gaggle is the group of guys in your life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want, and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Though no two gaggles are alike, there are ten types of men a gaggle might include, such as the Ego Booster, the Hot Sex Prospect, and the Boyfriend Prospect. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love . . . all this will be yours, once you stop stressing about dates, labels, and expectations and start thinking of each man you know and meet as a potential guy in your gaggle.
In this clever and groundbreaking debut, based on interviews with women and men across the country, Jessica Massa reveals the ways in which the potential for love is all around you. The Gaggle is the ultimate guide to figuring out what you want—and finding your match—in a world that has left traditional dating behind.
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SO HERE’S MY FIRST QUESTION . . .
How would you define your romantic status right now?
• “Single. Incredibly, unbelievably single.”
• “Ha! Well, it’s sort of up in the air.”
• “Gray . . . ?”
• “In a relationship for—well, two months later we asked each other, ‘So when would you say that we started dating?’ And we were like, ‘Oh, New Year’s Eve, when we got wasted and made out.’”
• “It’s really complicated. How much time do...see more
DATING 101: A CRASH COURSE
I broke up with my last boyfriend to embark on this single journey, and I had absolutely no clue what I was getting myself into. I was like, “I’m going to find myself and become an independent woman and focus on me,” and it’s just turned into this big clusterfuck.
I thought it was going to be so much better! I thought it was going to be so much fun and I was going to be getting asked out on dates like every night, and eventually I would find a guy who I could date for a while—like on Sex and the City, all Carrie Bradshaw. And it’s just...see more
I think that the times are changing where you MUST “go out.” I used to ask girls on dates. I would be like, let’s get alone, let’s talk. Not to get in your pants, ultimately, but to get to know each other.
But now I think that’s inappropriate. There are a bunch of girls who I would just love to cut to the chase with and go on a date, but I just don’t think it’s done anymore.
What’s done instead? Fucked if I know!
—Bryan, 30, carpenter, New Orleans
Remember all the conventional wisdom that we just...see more
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