Get Laid or Die Trying

The Field Reports

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In the beginning, there were field reports.

Before there were any books by Neil Strauss or Mystery, before there were pickup boot camps or DVD box sets, pickup existed as a loosely-knit “community” on Internet bulletin boards. There, would-be players shared their field reports, strategies, and results. They compared notes, exchanged critiques, and figured out a body of knowledge that defied everything men had ever been told about getting women—what has since come to be known as game.

The undisputed king of the field report was a player named “jlaix.” This was the handle of Jeff Allen, who would go on to be a founding member of Real Social Dynamics with Tyler Durden and Papa, all of whom play major roles in Neil Strauss’s The Game, the bestselling exposé of the world of pickup artists. In an arena founded on one-upmanship, Jeff Allen did it bigger and better than anyone. Get Laid or Die Trying presents in utterly shameless, hilarious, and graphic detail, Jeffy’s gritty, 100 percent real, and jaw-droppingly astonishing feats of seduction, revealing exactly how one goes about:

• Attracting the girl you want by sleeping with all of her friends
• Getting into the pants of the hottest girl at the party—a total stranger—in less than thirty minutes
• Deflecting last-minute resistance with a single word
• Pulling a chick who is surrounded by ten jealous guys
• Cutting out enormous dudes that could easily pound you to a “fine red mist”
• Getting threesomes as your default extraction
• Having a stable so big you have to trim it down, and other “quality problems”
• Convincing a girl you just met that before you fuck her, she must mow your lawn

Jeff’s tactics produce superhuman results, yet he doesn’t do anything you couldn’t do—now that you’ve seen it done. The worst part? You could have been doing this your whole life.
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  • Gallery Books | 
  • 368 pages | 
  • ISBN 9781451620917 | 
  • March 2011
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Read an Excerpt

And that’s when it happens. I see him there, Tyler, standing before me in the street like obi-wan, smirking at me with his motorcycle jacket and his sunglasses. He says, “DUDE. you KNOW what you have to do. Go to that fuckin’ bar, blow that moron out, pull the girl to Club Jeffy and FUCk HER, man! Eh?! OH MAN!” He brings his hands up, finger guns a-blazin’, nodding wildly.
Yeah, I think, nodding along with him. YEAH. I rise to my feet and take a deep breath, brushing myself off. I turn around and march directly to the Phone Bizzle.
I walk in and sure enough, lisa’s at the end of the bar with the... see more

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