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From Chapter 6: he's not into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk

The "But I Like Him This Way" Excuse

Dear Greg,

You're so dumb. My boyfriend, the music video guy? He really likes to drink. He has a really hard job and needs to unwind. And when he's drunk he's really affectionate and tells me all these great things about how he feels about me. I think that's great! Some people need alcohol to get the courage to share their feelings and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! In fact I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking a lot after work. It's fun. It's like a party all the time. He doesn't miss work. He's just a bad boy. I like bad boys. They're exciting. If you don't, you're too uptight.

Nikki

Dear Nikki,

Nikki, Nikki, I know you think he's so hot. You love that drunky "Oh baby, you're so beautiful" slurry thing he does when he's at the bar, or maybe even that cute rendition of "I love you so much you're the best thing that ever happened to me, babe" while he slings his arm around you a little too hard. I can see how his inebriated, sweaty proclamations of love can make you feel all warm inside. Nikki, you must know this by now: You can't believe everything a guy says when he's drunk. And take it from a former bad boy: "Bad Boys" are bad because they're troubled, as in having little self-respect, lots of pent-up anger, loads of self-loathing, complete lack of faith in any kind of loving relationship, but yes, really cool clothes and often a great car. Just the kind of guy for you, right, Nikki?

Ladies, don't let your desire to be loved and feel affection cloud your judgment (like a big tall glass of scotch). If you are lucky enough not to be dealing with the profound, painful problems of being married to, living with, or born to, an alcoholic, and you just happen to be dating a guy that you notice drinks an awful lot, please beware. Know you deserve not just an affectionate, attentive boyfriend, but you deserve an affectionate, attentive, sober one.

Text copyright © 2004 by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo