How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother?

The Answer to Becoming Partners Again

How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother?

Do you feel like your partner has become your child?

Do you find yourself being his maid, his cook, his manager?

Have romance, respect, fun—and sex—been drained out of your relationship?

In How Can I Be Your Lover When I’m Too Busy Being Your Mother? Sara Dimerman and J.M. Kearns lay bare an essential problem: the woman who finds she’s turned into a mother to her man instead of the equal and intimate partner she once was.

She has a day job just like he does, yet at home she finds herself doing most of the housework, running the home, and being in charge of the child-rearing, which makes her his boss in the one place they spend most of their time together. This leaves her feeling angry and resentful—hardly conducive to being lovers. Dimerman and Kearns boldly confront the issues, allowing both sexes to vent in a no-holds-barred exchange that ranges from hostile to hilarious. They deconstruct the problem using real-life examples and lay out a step-by-step path that will enable any couple to get back to being equal partners again.
  • Touchstone | 
  • 320 pages | 
  • ISBN 9781476753638 | 
  • May 2013
List Price $16.99
This title is temporarily out of stock, please check back soon.

About the Authors

Sara Dimerman
Photograph (c) Eli Amon

Sara Dimerman

Sara Dimerman, C.Psych.Assoc., has been an individual, couple, and family therapist for more than twenty years. A nationally recognized relationship and parenting expert, she is the author of two other books. Sara lives in Toronto, Canada, is married, and has two daughters. Visit

J.M. Kearns
Photograph (c) Alexsey Moryakov

J.M. Kearns

J.M. Kearns, PhD, is the author of the bestselling Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You and two other relationship books, featured in Oprah & Friends, Maclean’s, and Glamour. He lives in Cape May, New Jersey with his partner Debra. Visit