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The Hunger Pains

The Hunger Pains
A Parody  
Read by: Joy Osmanski
This edition: Unabridged Audio Download
Availability: Available for immediate download
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WINNING MEANS WEALTH, FAME, AND A LIFE OF THERAPY LOSING MEANS DEATH, BUT ALSO FAME! THIS IS THE HUNGER PAINS

When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.

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    2. THE HUNGER PAINS Official Theatrical Trailer
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"The Hunger Pains really struck a chord with me."
-- Kantkiss, protagonist of The Hunger Pains
"Instead of the Bible, rooms should come with a copy of The Hunger Pains."
-- Sheraton Hotel Memo
"This book makes me wish I'd never been shot."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"The book always falls through my hands, but in an undeniably funny way."
-- A Ghost
Individual.com, February 8, 2012
...And "The Hunger Games" has received the ultimate confirmation of its pop-culture impact: A parody has been published. "Hunger Pains," by the Harvard Lampoon, which follows the adventures of Kantkiss Neverclean, was published on Tuesday, Feb. ...
Blogcritics.org, January 26, 2012
...when readers know what is being parodied. Harvard Lampooners know a target when they see it: thus The Hunger Pains. Like , The Hunger Pains is the story of a teenage girl, Kantkiss Neverclean, who replaces her younger sister as one of her ...