The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.

Introduction by: Dave Barry
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When every hiccup sounds like the call of doom, each stomach pang hints at incipient cancer, and a headache means it's time to firm up your last will and testament, The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death. provides just the relief you need. Gene Weingarten has spent his whole life immersed in the eclectic details of bizarre symptoms, self-diagnosing every minor ache as a potentially deadly disease. Weingarten examines:
  • The mind of a hypochondriac
  • How your doctor can kill you
  • Ulcers and other visceral fears
  • The snaps, crackles, and pops of your body that spell disaster
  • Things that can take an eye out
  • Interpreting DocSpeak

Blending the neurotic anxieties of Woody Allen, the folksiness of Garrison Keillor, and the absurdist vision of Dave Barry, Gene Weingarten conjures up a hilarious prescription for the hypochondriac that lurks inside all of us.
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  • Simon & Schuster | 
  • 208 pages | 
  • ISBN 9780684856483 | 
  • June 2001
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Chapter One: Are You a Hypochondriac?


We must begin by abandoning antiquated, stigmatizing notions about the hypochondriac, a person who imagines himself afflicted by disease. Like alcoholism, hypochondria is not the hypochondriac's "fault," or a moral weakness, but a disease.


Hmm.


To hypochondriacs, I offer reassurance: We are no longer living in an era when every little symptom signaled the onset of some dreadful condition with a goofy name, like "consumption" or "whooping cough" or "St. Vitus's dance," disorders that meant you would spend the remainder of your tragically truncated life drooling out your...

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