I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus
A Breathers Christmas Carol
He sees you when you’re sleeping . . . he knows when you’re undead.
How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus?
If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand.
Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice. . . .
Read an Excerpt
I’m strapped down to a table in one of the examination rooms with my head immobilized, naked except for a pair of blue hospital booties on my feet. Sometimes they let me wear a surgical gown but more often than not I’m naked, which doesn’t do much to nurture my sense of dignity. But when you’re a lab rat being experimented on in the name of medical research, dignity isn’t a high priority.
“Was the subject disinfected?” says a lab technician, inserting a catheter into my penis.
“No,” says another one. “But I’ll take care of it when we’re done setting... see more