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Excerpts

Early one rainy evening in New York, Michael Brown hurried to meet someone a friend had said might help him deal with a difficult time he was having. As he entered the small café, he had no way of knowing how valuable the next few hours would be.

When he saw Ann Carr, he was surprised. He had heard she had been through some tough times herself and expected it to show on her. But she seemed upbeat and full of energy.

After some preliminary conversation, he said, "You look like you're in a good place, despite the bad times I understand you've been through."

She said, "I am in a good place, both in my work and in my life. But it's not in spite of the bad times. It's because of them -- and how I learned to take advantage of them."

Michael was puzzled. "How so?" he asked.

"Well, for example, at work I thought our department was doing fine, but in reality we weren't. We'd been successful, but we'd become complacent. By the time we realized it, other companies were doing much better than we were. My boss became very unhappy with me.

"That's when I started feeling low, and the pressure to improve things in a hurry began. Each day became more stressful."

Michael asked, "So, what happened?"

She answered, "I heard a story last year from someone at work I respected. It changed how I looked at good and bad times, and what I do now is very different. The story helped me to be calmer and more successful, whether things are going well or not, even in my personal life. I'll never forget it!"

"What was the story?" he asked.

Ann was quiet for a moment, and then said, "Would it be all right if I asked why you would like to know about it?"

Michael reluctantly admitted that he was not feeling very secure in his job, and things were not going so well for him at home.

He didn't need to say any more. She felt his embarrassment, and said, "You sound like you need to hear the story as much as I did."

Ann said she would tell Michael the story with the understanding that if he found it valuable, he would share it with others. He agreed, and Ann prepared Michael for what he was about to hear.

She said, "I found that if you want to use the story to deal with the ups and downs that come at you, it helps if you listen with your heart and head, and fill in the story with your own experience to see what is true for you.

"The insights in the story are often repeated, although in slightly different ways."

Michael asked "Why the repetition?"

She answered, "Well, for me, it made it easier to remember them. And when I remembered the insights, I used them more."

She admitted, "I'm reluctant to change. So, I need to hear something new often enough that, at some point, it gets past my critical, distrusting mind, becomes more familiar, and touches my heart. Then it becomes a part of me.

"That's what happened after I thought a lot about the story. But you can discover that for yourself, if you like."

"Do you really think a story can make that big a difference?" Michael asked. "I'm in a pretty tough spot right now."

Ann replied, "In that case, what do you have to lose? All I can tell you is that when I applied what I got out of the story, it had a big impact.

"Some people," she cautioned, "get very little from the story, while others get a great deal!

"It's not the story; it's what you take away from it that is so powerful. That's up to you, of course."

Michael nodded. "Okay. I think I would really like to hear it."

So Ann started to tell the tale over dinner, and then continued through dessert and coffee.

She began: