Racing Through the Dark

Racing Through the Dark

Crash. Burn. Coming Clean. Coming Back.

WORLD-CLASS CYCLIST, Tour de France stage winner, and time trial specialist David Millar offers a vivid portrait of his life in professional cycling—including his soul-searing detour into performance-enhancing drugs, his dramatic arrest and two-year ban, and his ultimate decision to return to the sport he loves to race clean—in this arrestingly candid memoir, which he wrote himself.

As a young Scottish expat living in Hong Kong with his father after his parents’ divorce, Millar showed early promise with mountain biking and BMX. Two wise local cyclists took him under their wings, encouraging him to concentrate on road racing. Millar proved a ready convert. Racing Through the Dark offers the winning account of his climb through the ranks—first as an amateur and then as a pro, riding for the French team Cofidis. Among his early triumphs were several stage wins in the Tour de France.

From the moment Millar turned pro, he began to see hints of the unethical measures that many— maybe most—of the other pros were taking in order to race at the very tops of their games . . . and beyond. At first, he felt that he was immune to temptation, that he could win clean. But the ugly pervasiveness of performance-enhancing drugs and the seemingly universal attitude that condoned it began to corrode his willpower. Racing Through the Dark details his eventual capitulation, his subsequent arrest and two-year ban from cycling, and his remarkable comeback as a clean cyclist who is now doing his utmost to keep performance-enhancing drugs out of the sport he so loves.

Filled with thrilling descriptions of the world’s most spectacular courses, Racing Through the Dark captures the pure joy of cycling and includes some of the most vivid accounts of racing ever written by a true insider.
Choose a format:
  • Touchstone | 
  • 368 pages | 
  • ISBN 9781451682687 | 
  • June 2012
List Price $26.00

Read an Excerpt



Life is about making decisions, and my relationship with David Millar has informed some of the toughest and most critical decisions in my career. Looking back, his experience has also been pivotal in fueling my passionate belief in clean sport.

I first crossed paths with David in 2002 at the World Road Championships in Belgium. I was working as performance director to Team GB, and he was riding for the British team. It was clear from the outset that he was different from any other bike rider I’d met before. Hugely talented, ambitious, and extroverted, Dave was a thoroughbred.

He was intelligent and strong-willed,... see more


My Early Years

Even though I was born in Malta—for those who need to know, on January 4, 1977—I have always thought of myself as a Scot.

My parents, Gordon and Avril, left the island when I was eleven months old and returned to Scotland. This was a homecoming, a return from abroad to our brethren. Yet because my father was in the Royal Air Force and subject to their postings, it wasn’t really his choice where we ended up.

We lived in Forres. My earliest memories are of a housing estate, a school bus—with a metal bar across the top of the seat in front of me that I’d try to bite... see more

About the Author

David Millar
Photograph © Timm Kölln

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