Books > Real Life Management > Excerpts

CHAPTER 1

Why Quick-Fix Schemes NeverWork

I was speaking to a group of women at a wellness spa near Nashville, Tennessee. The spa had asked me to present a seminar on "foodaholism," the idea that food has become one of the worst addictions in the United States today.

"Any of ya'll struggle with that?" I asked.

A wave of nervous snickers rippled across the room and finally broke into open laughter as the women turned to each other with looks that seemed to say things like, "Oh, yeah!" and, "I can't believe he asked that!"

It was a rather pointed question, since not one of those women weighed less than two hundred pounds, and a few weighed considerably more. That wouldn't have been a problem necessarily, except that a number of them couldn't have been more than 5'2" or 5'4" tall.

Aware that their laughter was really a sign of embarrassment, I eased the tension the way I often do, by poking some fun at myself and letting them know I could personally relate to their situation.

"When I was growing up I was always known as the fat kid. You know how that works. Somebody would ask who Wayne Nance was, and people would say, 'Oh, he's the fat kid,' and the person would immediately nod, because then he'd know exactly whom they were talking about.

"I was the fat kid, but I didn't think anything of it because Momma kept telling me I wasn't fat, I was just 'big-boned.' Years later, I learned a lot about the physiology of the human body, especially as it relates to weight control. And you know what I discovered? Bones don't weigh 315 pounds. If you stacked all the bones in my body on a scale -- just the bones, without the rest of me -- they'd probably add up to about 30 pounds. That's it! Which means if I weighed 315 pounds (which I did at one point in my life), 285 pounds of that must be something besides bones."

A number of the women laughed and rolled their eyes at that point. Clearly they had heard similar excuses from their mothers.

Next, I tackled my Momma's argument that my thyroid was underactive. Maybe that's why I carried so much weight. I could tell that the women listening had heard that line before, too. "The truth," I explained, "is that folks who have hypothyroidism -- a genetic malfunction that causes the thyroid gland to not produce enough hormones, thereby slowing down one's metabolism -- make up less than 1 percent of the population."

"Less than 1 percent," I emphasized, "and yet 67 percent of adults in America are overweight. As a recovering fat man, I can assure you that I didn't have a slow metabolism. I mean, I could eat two double cheeseburgers with the super fries and milk shake, and I'd be hungry again in just a couple of hours. My body would burn right through those calories! Yes, sir, there were a lot of things slow about me in those days, but my metabolism wasn't one of them."

The point of my self-directed humor was not to be cruel, but to be honest. I wanted to help those women take a candid look at a problem they had struggled with their whole lives -- the problem of their weight. Specifically, the problem of too much weight.

Now I realize that for some readers, weight may not be your issue. But if not, there's a good chance that debt and/or problems in your relationships are. So as you read this chapter, don't think that it doesn't apply to you just because it's an illustration about obesity. I could just as easily have told a story about people struggling with their finances or their relationships. All three areas -- weight, money, relationships -- are profoundly affected by a person's underlying attitudes.

For instance, just as too much weight was killing those women at the health spa, too much debt could be killing you. Are you aware of that? According to Dr. Edward Charlesworth, an expert on stress, money is the leading cause of stress in America. No surprise there. Recall that in the Introduction I pointed out that 85 percent of Americans will retire broke. How much stress do you suppose that creates, and will create? In turn, stress is a leading factor for cancer, heart disease, and many other illnesses. Indeed, many experts believe that stress is the number one cause of death in the United States today. Money issues (especially debt) are the leading cause of that stress. Bottom line: debt is every bit as deadly as obesity.

Let's go back to the ladies at the health spa. As I got into the main content of what I had to tell them, they were listening carefully and asking great questions. I was so encouraged! They seemed grateful that someone was finally shooting straight with them. And they were really starting to "get" what I was saying about how quick-fix diets and rapid-loss weight programs are not the way to lose weight and stay healthy because...

Suddenly, right in the middle of my talk, one lady whose name tag read "Ginny" shot up her hand and blurted out, "Mr. Nance, look, I've tried everything you're talking about and then some. I've tried every single diet you've mentioned, and even a few you haven't. I've bought no end of fitness equipment off the TV. I've joined a different health club every January for the past seven years. None of it has worked for me!" Ginny had a surly look on her face, and I could tell she wasn't buying a word of what I was saying.

Actually, that had been apparent from the get-go. During the entire first thirty minutes of my presentation, Ginny had sat stonefaced, slumped in her chair, arms folded tight. She looked as if she were daring me to make her smile. Believe me, I tried! But it was like blasting granite. Her whole body language -- all 5'3" and 230 pounds of it -- sort of taunted me to prove something to her. But nothing I said seemed to reach her. So I wasn't surprised when she challenged me. Clearly, Ginny wasn't enjoying the afternoon. Clearly, she was not a very happy person.

In fact, Ginny struck me as a defeated person -- like so many overweight people I've met (as well as broke and divorced people, and unhappily married people). They've heard it all. The pitch for the nutritional supplement that will cut their weight by two-thirds, give them the energy of a triathlete, and make them irresistibly attractive again to their spouse. The fancy belly bumper that will shrink the blubber on their abs to a sixpack of steel-tight muscle -- in just ten days! The juice extractor that will suck those magic nutrients out of carrots and broccoli and serve them up in a liquid brew that tastes better than any milk shake they've ever had -- only $149.95, shipping and handling free, if you order right away!

Yes, they've heard it all. But none of it has worked. They're still fat. Worse, they're utterly defeated.

Ginny had the look that says, "Wayne, save your concern. Maybe you genuinely want to help me get my life together. That's great. But you just don't understand. This time, you've met your match. It's never going to happen for me. I just don't have what it takes. I'll never change."

To be honest, when Ginny interrupted my talk to vent her frustration, I felt frustrated with Ginny. But I also felt a lot of compassion. Because Ginny reminded me of me. There was a time in my life when I was just as certain that my life would never be altered. I, too, had tried the quick fixes she'd mentioned. I, too, had made those endless New Year's resolutions. I, too had attended all those self-help seminars and read all those books and pursued all those other schemes for lifestyle management. But they hadn't worked for me, just like they hadn't worked for Ginny, nor will they work for you. And here's why: almost all of those approaches are based on a number of terribly flawed assumptions, specifically:

1. "People are all pretty much the same." Have you ever noticed how books on lifestyle management make sweeping generalizations about human beings as they dispense advice? For example, most of them assume that all of us are motivated by goals, plans, rewards, success, money, prestige, self-interest, saving time, having more/bigger/better things, having people think well of us, making our lives easier, and on and on. But for every statement that begins, "Everyone needs," or "Everyone believes," or "People always," or "It's just human nature," there's almost a 100 percent certainty that someone somewhere is an exception to whatever follows. Actually, lots of "someones somewhere."

Take goals. Almost every prescription for self-improvement that I've ever come across says something like, "If you want to succeed at this, you've got to have a goal." Now I believe strongly in goals. In fact, later in this book I'll talk about setting some goals. But what if you're one of the millions of people in this world who doesn't do life by goals? It's not that you can't set a goal, it's that goal-setting is not how you're wired. It's not part of your makeup. God didn't design you that way. You use other means for moving ahead -- perhaps a picture or vision in your mind, perhaps a blueprint or model or set of instructions that you follow, perhaps a leader or coach or friend whom you trust.

Goals work great for people who are naturally motivated to set goals. They don't work so well for people who are wired in other ways. The point is that every human being is unique. Each of us has a unique "hardwiring" that doesn't fundamentally change throughout our life. Any scheme for lifestyle improvement that fails to take into account how you are naturally wired is ultimately doomed to failure. That's why in the next chapter I'm going to take you through an exercise that reveals a lot of how you are motivated to function.

2. "The same prescriptions will work for everyone." This assumption goes hand-in-hand with the previous one. In fact, it is based on the previous idea that everyone is the same. If everyone is the same, then universal, one-size-fits-all solutions will work for everyone.

For example, how many times have you heard "experts" say, "Americans should be saving 10 percent of their gross income." Is that true? Well, 10 percent may be an average of what all Americans, taken together, should be saving. But some of us need to be saving quite a bit more than that because of where we are in life and what our income level is and other factors. For others, such as retirees who have a handsome nest egg stashed away, 10 percent may be too aggressive. So how much should an individual household be saving? The most accurate answer is, "It all depends."

I could apply the same logic to almost every other area of lifestyle management: diets, working out, nutrition, vitamin supplements, budgets, insurance, 401(k) deductions, family schedules, times away with your spouse, vacations, Christmas shopping, you name it. There is no single prescription that fits every person, every family, every circumstance. We always must remember: one size does not fit all!

"That's depressing," I hear someone saying. "How can I know what to do?" The answer is: discover how you are wired (I'll help you do that in the next chapter) and customize the advice you get to your wiring -- to who you are and how you do life. This is another way of saying, take responsibility for how you live. Don't just let someone else tell you how to run your life. They can tell you what has worked for them. But don't assume that their approach will work for you, since they are wired differently than you.

That's the approach I've taken with almost 100,000 individuals over the past seventeen years. First I've helped them discover their inborn, underlying attitudes, using the simple 3-Minute Survey. Then I've helped them customize a plan for working on their lifestyle issues according to their unique approach to life. My model has worked for people in corporations, health spas, colleges and universities, churches, and many other venues. It works because it takes into account individual differences.

3. "Change is basically a matter of making the right choices." Pick up any book on diet and nutrition, money management, or relationships, and you'll inevitably find that success depends on a set of choices you need to be making. "Eat this much of this." "Don't eat any of that." "Spend only this much." "Buy that kind of insurance." "Say these things." "Avoid that situation." It's as if life is a paint-by-numbers picture that you fill in with the right choices. Get those choices right, and everything will work out great.

The problem is, life doesn't work that way. The half-truth is that managing your lifestyle does involve making good choices. But where does the decision to make these choices come from? Most traditional approaches ignore the extent to which that inborn hardwiring that I will talk more about drives your decisions and behaviors.

Take Charlie as a case in point. Goodtime Charlie, his friends call him. It's an appropriate name, because Charlie is nothing if not friendly. He never met a person he didn't instantly like. For that matter, he never met a person who didn't instantly like him. Charlie's just got appeal oozing out of him. Not surprisingly, he spends all of his time in the company of others.

Now Charlie has always been that way, from the time he was a little baby. He's always gravitated to people. Indeed, everything he's ever achieved in his life he's done together with other people. And for good reason: the satisfaction that Charlie takes from being with other people is a function of his attitude, his hardwiring. In other words, Charlie doesn't have to try to like people, he just likes them. He cannot not like them. That's how he's wired.

Did I mention that Charlie is eighty-five pounds overweight and maxed out on two of his three credit cards? Charlie's wife got him to go to a seminar that their church sponsored on financial planning. The speaker had very good material. She talked about setting up a budget and paying off credit card purchases every month. Charlie listened carefully and even took notes. Why, he even went up to the speaker afterwards and told her she was the best seminar presenter he'd ever heard. She seemed flattered.

So guess what happened on the way home from the seminar. Charlie was so excited about what he'd heard that he invited another couple to join him and his wife for a snack at a nearby restaurant, so they could talk about it. When the waitress came, Charlie blared out, "Hey, I know! Let's get that fried onion they serve here for an appetizer. It's great!"

So the deep fried onion with the creamy dip soon arrived. Charlie was so animated that he ended up eating most of it while he chatted away with his friends.

Later, the waitress brought their meals -- light sandwiches for the other three, but a huge double pastrami with cheese and chips for Charlie.

When the waitress brought the check, the husband of the other couple began to pull out his wallet. But Charlie waved him off and grabbed the bill. "This is ours," he said emphatically. When his friend began to protest, Charlie became adamant. "I won't hear of it. We invited you, and I've thoroughly enjoyed listening to your perspectives on the seminar. You've made this the perfect ending to a wonderful day." And with that, Charlie handed the waitress his credit card.

Now Charlie has broken almost every piece of advice that he's ever read or heard about sticking to a diet and keeping his spending under control. Why? Does he not want to make the right choices? In truth, he does. He's talked about that many times with his wife. So why does he keep making bad choices? Because Charlie is unaware that his inborn attitude predisposes him to order more food, to pay for the meal, and to pay for it on a credit card when he's already got two credit cards that are maxed out. For that matter, his attitude predisposes him to ask his friends out for a snack in the first place.

Charlie doesn't know anything about his attitude. He's just being Charlie. That's how it is with most people. They pay no attention to their particular wiring because they don't even know what it is. Their wiring is so natural to them that they don't even recognize how much it affects their decisions and behavior. They just do the things they do because, well, that's how they do life. They wouldn't think of doing it any other way.

So telling people to just make the right choices is a bit misguided. Better to show them how their attitudes affect their decisions, so that they can understand why they keep making bad decisions, and how they can start making good decisions -- informed, intelligent decisions based on who they actually are.

4. "People can change and 'become' whatever they want to be if they'll just put their mind to it." This may be the most flawed assumption of all. But it is very common in our society. "Whatever the mind can conceive, the will can achieve." Have you ever heard something like that? Sure you have. In fact, you may have said something similar to your kids in an effort to inspire them to set their sights high: "Honey, you can become anything you want to be. You just need to decide what you want and then work hard to achieve it."

Now I would never want to discourage anyone from aiming high. In fact, I think one of the main problems folks have in managing their lifestyle is that they are settling for too little. They have no vision for their lives, nothing to shoot for, nothing to aspire to. As a result, they don't care about themselves nearly enough, and so they allow their habits to defeat them. Having a lofty dream to pursue is vital to self-enhancement.

But having said that, I must be clear: it is simply not true that you can become anything you want to be. For instance, I now weigh 228 pounds (a trim 228 pounds, I might point out). At one time in my life, I may have wanted to become an astronaut. But I weigh more than is acceptable to be an astronaut (not to mention that I'm scared of heights). So that option is off the table for me. I can't become an astronaut. Nor can I become a jockey. Given my size, I'd slow the horse down (or break his back).

The same principle applies to you, not just physically, but in terms of your hardwiring. Certain things fit you because of how you're wired, and other things don't. One person is great with math and numbers, but not so good with his hands. Another person can plan and organize a dinner party like nobody's business, but don't ask her to bake the cake. Every one of us has a particular way in which we're made, and that design fits us perfectly for some task or role in this world (by the way, it's important that we find what that task or role is, and go do it).

But that means we can't "become" just anything we want to be. In fact, the truth is that we can't become anything other than what we were made to be. That hardwiring is permanent. It doesn't fundamentally change over the course of our life. Charlie, whom I mentioned a moment ago, is always going to love being with people. That's never going to change. He's never going to "become" a recluse. Even if he tried, even if for some reason he built a cabin in the woods to live by himself as a hermit, he might survive all by himself. But he'll never love being by himself, because he wasn't made that way. He was made to love being with people. The same is true for you. Who you fundamentally are will never change. Your values may change, your beliefs may change, your opinions may change, your relationships may change, your circumstances will almost certainly change. But your personhood -- who you are -- will never fundamentally change.

And that's a good thing! Because we need you to be who you are, so that you can make the contribution to this world that we need you to make. The contribution that you are uniquely designed to make.

And I hope hearing that removes a fear that may be lurking inside you as you read this book. Maybe you've read other books on lifestyle management, and you've discovered that all of them hope to produce change in your lifestyle. And that scares you to death! Because you're afraid that changing your lifestyle means you'll have to change who you are. You'll have to become someone else. You'll have to become like the person who wrote the book!

Not that that's all bad. You'd certainly like to have the physique of that fitness trainer with the snappy exercise book. You'd love to have the millions that the financial guru has who wrote How to Get Rich As a Mattress Tester. You'd be thrilled to have the marriage that the cute couple on the jacket of the relationship book has -- and don't they look like a couple of models from Madison Avenue?

Sure, it's fun to imagine yourself as someone who is thin, rich, happy, or whatever. That's great! But deep down you don't want to "become" someone else. Do you? You want to solve your problems, you want to experience happiness, you want to feel better about your life. But do you really want to "become" an entirely different human being than you are? I've never met anyone who did.

Which is why I will never ask you to change who you are. Instead, I'll ask you to come to terms with who you are -- with your inborn attitude -- and then use your awareness of your attitude to make better choices that are customized to you and are in your best interest.

* * *

Thanks to flawed ideas like the ones I've just mentioned, a majority of Americans are now mired in a raging crisis of obesity, debt, and broken relationships. Most of us long for our lives to be different. But that will never happen unless each individual's process for making things different takes into account who you are and how you are wired.

And also takes into account one other thing: nothing good happens fast. Note that I'm not saying that good things have to take forever. I'm just saying that there are no quick fixes. Sorry if that disappoints you. But then, haven't you already been disappointed by all those quick fixes you've tried already?

The fact is, we live in a quick-fix society, and it's those quick fixes that have gotten us into so much trouble. Take food, for example. We've got "fast food," which can be bought with a fast and easy method called a credit card.

But say you're a little too quick with those credit cards and rack up too much debt. There are quick-fix solutions for that, too: debt consolidation, or, if that's not fast enough, bankruptcy. Many Americans file for bankruptcy two, three, even four times!

And how about marriage? If things aren't working out, it's become easier than ever with "no fault" divorce to "streamline" a divorce. In fact, all you need to get unhitched in most states is just cause, especially if you have a prenuptial agreement in place. All the paperwork's been done. Call it a "quick unfix." It's a boon to divorce lawyers and a tragedy for the family.

Quick fixes get us into trouble. But quick fixes can't get us out of trouble. Why? Because quick-fix, easy-answer, temporary solutions are no match for what turn out to be permanent, lifelong issues. That's what weight is -- a lifelong issue. That's what money is -- a lifelong issue. That's what relationships are -- a lifelong issue. Those issues are never going to go away. And the way each of us instinctively deals with those issues is never going to go away because our inborn attitude is never going to go away, nor will it fundamentally change. Our underlying attitude, whatever it is, will drive our approach to lifestyle issues for as long as we're alive.

So quick fixes won't work. Instead, the question we need to ask of any program for getting our lives under control is: Is it a program we can do for a lifetime? If it is, that's the one we want. If not, forget it.

So which program will last a lifetime? The answer is: only the one we can customize to fit our individual needs and attitudes.

This book lays out such a plan. It's a customized plan for taking control of your life -- a plan that will last a lifetime, because it fits you. It's designed for you. We call this five-step plan the ALTER model.

The word "ALTER" is chosen on purpose. I've already said that I will never ask you to change who you are. The same is true for your lifestyle. I will never ask you to change your lifestyle. Most people think of "change" as a radical, 180-degree turnaround. "Change" implies that you are going in the wrong direction, or that you have already failed. For that reason, I avoid the word "change." It's asking too much. It's unrealistic. No matter how sincere I may be -- or you may be -- you're not going to do a 180-degree turnaround in your lifestyle. Not overnight, anyway.

But suppose I show you how to "ALTER" your lifestyle? In other words, how to make a less traumatic adjustment -- more like a 5- or 10-degree course correction. Can you do that? Sure you can! Not that I'm stopping anyone from trying a sharper turn. You can attempt whatever degree of course correction you are willing to try. But in my experience, simple alterations prove much more manageable, and much more realistic. And for that reason, they yield much better results over time. Repeat: over time.

So here's a summary of the ALTER model. ALTER is an acrostic, as follows:

A = Awareness. The first step to managing your lifestyle is to understand the natural, inborn, hardwired attitude that drives your behavior. I'll help you do that in the next two chapters.

L = Learn. Getting serious about your lifestyle requires that you learn as much information as possible about the issue you want to work on. Chapters 4 and 5 will help you figure out what information you need, where to find it, and what to do with it.

T = Tactical plan. In this book I'm addressing the three lifestyle issues that are causing the biggest problems in our society -- wellness, personal finances, and relationships, both at home and at work. Chapters 6, 7, and 8 cover these issues in detail. For each issue, I'll show you a ten-item checklist to help you create definable, realistic, and personally meaningful goals or outcomes, and then take steps toward those results.

E = Execute the plan. Good intentions have to translate into actual action. So in chapter 9 I'll offer you encouragement, tips, and techniques for working your personalized plan and learning to "walk your talk."

R = Re-evaluate. As you take action toward getting your lifestyle under control, you need to periodically evaluate your progress, looking at what has gone right, what has gone wrong, what you can do differently, and what your next plan of action should be. I'll show you how to do that in Chapters 10, 11, and 12.

"Well, that's all well and good," I can hear someone saying, "but you don't know me. Remember me? I'm that person you described earlier. I'm the person who will just never change. Because I can't change. You can't fix me! I'm hopeless."

Okay then, let's go back to Ginny, the lady I mentioned earlier. The one who said, "I've tried everything, and none of it worked." The one who wanted to prove me wrong. What did I tell Ginny? The same thing I'll say to you if you're thinking what she was thinking: "You're right. You can leave."

You could have heard a pin drop as all the other women in the room that day turned around to stare at Ginny -- and at me. You could tell they were thinking, "Did he really just say what I think he said? Did he really tell her he can't help her, and she should just leave?"

They expected me to say the same thing everyone else had said to Ginny countless times before when she had said, in effect, "I'll never change." Maybe it's the same thing you're expecting me to say. Something sweet and kind and nice (and patronizing), like, "Oh, Ginny, trust me. You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay. You just hang in there and let me get through my information, and you'll be all right. This time will be different."

I didn't say that. I didn't say it to Ginny, and I won't say it to you if you're like Ginny. Because the truth is, Ginny wasn't ready to confront her issues. Remember, I said that food is an addiction (so is money). Ginny was addicted to food -- just like I was. And it's a fundamental principle of working with addicts that you can't help an addict recover from her habit until she is ready to recover. Ginny wasn't ready. She didn't want to "get" what I had to say. She didn't want to be there with those other women, and work on her life in a relaxed, accepting environment the way they did.

And so I couldn't help her. I surely wanted to see Ginny find a way to make changes, but I couldn't want that change for Ginny. She had to want it for herself. I couldn't give her reasons for seeking change. She had to determine reasons of her own. And apparently she wasn't ready to do that. So I told her the truth.

When I told Ginny that, she immediately unfolded her arms, sat up on the front of her chair, glared at me, and said, "Do you mean you can't help me?"

"No ma'am, I can't help you." Pause. "I can't fix you. It's not my job to fix you. It's not my job to make your life work the way you want it to." Pause. I wanted that to sink in. And it did. I could tell she had been stopped in her tracks. She looked as if she didn't know whether to cuss me out, get up and walk out, or break down in tears. But she wasn't leaving, so I could tell she was holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, she'd encountered someone who might have some answers.

Finally I continued. "But if you're willing to acknowledge that you've got a problem, and that it's out of control, and that you want to regain control, and that you want to learn what you need to learn in order to regain control; and if you're willing to develop a plan of action that's just right for you, so that you can go to work on that problem; and if you're willing to work on that plan over time and take small but certain steps forward, and not let mistakes and failures and disappointments defeat you and get you off the track -- then yeah, I can give you that direction. That's why I'm here today."

Perhaps you've picked up this book with thoughts similar to Ginny's. You've tried it all. None of it has worked. You've given up hope. You'll never change. And as if to prove that, you've picked up this book with the attitude, "Oh, here's another one. Let's see what this guy has. Let me go ahead and try his deal and see if I fail."

If that's what you're thinking, you're right. My colleagues and I can't help you. You can set the book aside. For the same reasons I gave Ginny.

But before you bail out, let me tell you the rest of Ginny's story. Ginny decided to stay put and finish the seminar. She paid a lot more attention after our tense exchange. I even saw her take a few notes and talk to some of the other participants at the breaks, asking questions and soliciting input.

Finally, at the end of the day she came up to me and stuck out her hand. "Wayne, I want to thank you for talking to me the way you did," she told me. I thought she was going to cry. I almost wanted to cry myself when she continued, "You know, you're the only person in my life who's ever been that honest. My mother always told me that same excuse you were talking about. She used to say, 'Ginny, it doesn't matter what you eat or don't eat, because slow metabolism just runs in our family.'"

Like so many people, Ginny had lived her whole life attributing her problems with weight to her DNA and the way her family had raised her. The result was one giant chip on her shoulder. But the reality was that she wasn't angry with me -- she was angry with herself. Until that day, she hadn't wanted to deal with the truth. The truth was that her problems were not the result of any program, product, or process that had let her down. Her problems were the result of her own poor decisions. In other words, the problems were not something else; she was the problem. She was the source of her own troubles.

Do you know where those poor decisions were coming from? Ginny didn't. Most people don't. It was a breakthrough discovery for Ginny that day when she learned that her decisions about food, money, and relationships were being driven by her attitude -- the inborn and instilled ways in which she was "wired" to do life. Ginny's hardwiring, her attitude, was dramatically affecting her behaviors. Like most people, Ginny was unaware of what her underlying attitude was all about.

So I had her do what this book is about to have you do. I had her take the Real Life Management 3-Minute Survey, which reveals the core attitudes that drive a person's choices. The 3-Minute Survey was like holding up a mirror to Ginny and saying, "Ginny, here's how you do life." She discovered that her unique approach to life actually predisposed her to some self-defeating patterns that accounted for her problems. By paying attention to those patterns, she was in a position to start making better decisions for herself and develop better habits.

The same holds true for you. You have a unique way of approaching life. A unique attitude. Unless you take that attitude into account, you'll probably never succeed long-term in gaining control of your lifestyle. Unless you pay attention to your attitude, you're liable to stay stuck in the conviction, "I'll never change!"

Would you like to break out of that mind-set, once and for all, the way Ginny did? And I did? And thousands of others I've worked with have? In the next chapter, I'll show you how.

Copyright © 2007 by Real Life Management, Inc.