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Excerpts

Contents

Being a Better Parent

Principle 1: What You Do Matters
Be a Mindful Parent
Genes Don't Make Parents Irrelevant
Children Learn by Watching
Handling Influences Outside the Family
Learn from Your Mistakes

Principle 2: You Cannot Be Too Loving
Can You Spoil Your Child with Love?
Expressing Physical Affection
Praise Your Child's Accomplishments
Responding to Your Child's Emotional Needs
Providing a Safe Haven

Principle 3: Be Involved in Your Child's Life
Be Involved
What Is Quality Time?
Take an Interest in Your Child's Interests
The Importance of School Involvement
Avoid Intrusive Parenting

Principle 4: Adapt Your Parenting to Fit Your Child
Keep Pace with Your Child's Development
Adjust Your Parenting to Your Child's Temperament
Your Child Is Unique
Have Patience During Developmental Transitions
Your Changing Role as a Parent

Principle 5: Establish Rules and Set Limits
All Children Need Rules and Limits
Be Firm, but Be Fair
The Importance of Monitoring
Handling Conflicts over Rules
Relaxing Limits as Your Child Matures

Principle 6: Help Foster Your Child's Independence
Your Child's Need for Autonomy
Coping with Oppositionalism and Argumentativeness
Give Your Child Psychological Space
Don't Micromanage Your Child's Life
Protect When You Must, but Permit When You Can

Principle 7: Be Consistent
Be Consistent from Day to Day
The Significance of Routines
How Important Is a United Front?
Be Consistent Without Being Rigid
Identify Your Nonnegotiables

Principle 8: Avoid Harsh Discipline
Should Children Be Punished?
Never Use Physical Punishment
Don't Be Verbally Abusive
Controlling Your Anger
The Right Way to Punish

Principle 9: Explain Your Rules and Decisions
Be Clear About What You Expect
Reasoning with Your Child
"Because I Said So"
Hear Your Child's Point of View
Admit Your Mistakes

Principle 10: Treat Your Child with Respect
Getting and Giving Respect
Have Two-Way Conversations
"Don't Talk Back"
Let Your Child Act His Age
Children Treat Others the Way Their Parents Treat Them

Index