3 Steps to Stop It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start
It starts with a whimper, an insistent demand, or a certain tone of voice that every parent recognizes with dread -- your child is starting to whine, and if you don't respond properly you'll have a full-blown tantrum or argument on your hands. Kids of all ages know that whining works when they want that extra hour of TV, the unplanned toy purchase, or a later curfew. But stopping such behavior without giving in to a child's demands isn't easy, and if left unchecked, whining can lead to constant disruptions at home, in school, or anywhere else your child chooses. Now the same authors who solved a common parenting problem in the national bestseller Backtalk present three proven methods for putting an end to whining, as well as information on
* The best ways to react when your child whines in a public place
* Why negotiating and giving in never work -- and what you should do instead
* What kids are really trying to tell you when they whine
* Why whining can lead to poor self-esteem and unsatisfying social relationships -- which can follow your child into adulthood -- and what you can do about it now
* How to clearly, respectfully indicate to your child what's important to you and why whining will no longer work as a means of communication
Filled with numerous real-life examples, encouraging advice, and simple steps you can start using immediately, this invaluable guide will help you end the cycle of giving in to whining only to have your child do it again, and instead replaces misbehavior with effective, meaningful, and loving parent-child communication.
Read an Excerpt
When adults are asked to define whining the answers usually sound like this:
"The begging that drives me crazy..."
"Crying and whimpering that makes me feel sorry for them..."
"Once it starts, I know it's not going to stop until I give in..."
What these parents are doing is describing what whining is like for them. They know that it upsets their equilibrium and that they feel manipulated. What parents need to understand is that whining is a technique children use to get their way. It is as simple as that -- and it is manipulative. Adults feel... see more
Pam walks in the house having just picked up her two children at school. On the drive home, she had told both children that she had to make some work-related phone calls as soon as they got home. She asked the children to take their school things to their rooms and change clothes while she conducted her business.
Once at home, however, the children dump their school bags on the living room floor and fly into the kitchen whining that they're hungry, they need snacks, they must have some milk and cookies right away.
Pam reminds them that she's asked for a few minutes to make some business calls, and she asks... see more